Hmmm… A blog. Writing a blog. Writing my first blog. Hmmm indeed.
Where to start? What do people blog about? As I sit here wondering what it is that people actually want to read on a blog, I feel my mind blanking over. Sure, there’s plenty of things I find interesting on the internet, most of it I stumble upon after searching for something else. There’ll be plenty of occasions when I read something and think, yeah, that’s really good, I wish I’d thought of writing about that.
But do I really know what I want to include in my first ever official blog that the world shall read with their collective jaws hanging wide open in awe of my greatness? No, not really.
What film did I last watch, what book did I last read, what was the last album I listened to? Do people really give two shits about any of that? Well, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Weaveworld by Clive Barker, and Come My Fanatics by Electric Wizard, if you’re interested.
I could tell you all about the tragic accident involving my cat, if I owned one. Or maybe that idiot driver in front of me earlier who brought a new meaning to the rage of the road. Or how wine gums just don’t taste the same any more.
Should I tell you about my latest piece of torture equipment that I fashioned, and how the victims’ pleas for help compliment the grinding from the machine perfectly? No, I jest. Of course I haven’t made a new piece of torture equipment- I still use the same ones. My devices are like an old pair of pyjamas- you just get used to the way they feel. How could I ever think about replacing them?
Shall I talk about my latest story I’m working on? Without giving away any of the plot twists, supposing there are any, of course. Maybe writing about my writing may improve my skills in writing and solidify some ideas, for more writings.
Writing as a virgin blogger is quite the task, but does it really need to be? With my fingers lightly drumming on my laptop while ideas run around my head, I wonder whether I should really be putting this much analytical thought into it. Surely the words should just flow.
And now I speculate whether any of this minor (and it’s definitely minor) heartache is worth it. Will anyone actually read this anyway? Or will I somehow ‘go viral’ like an outbreak of Rant Casey’s rabies?
I’ve read that the secret of blogging successfully is to keep on doing it. They say that even when blog after blog after blog yields no comments or subscribers, you should never give up, just keep those blogs a-coming. And I intend to.
Famous last words, eh?
So maybe this first attempt at telling the world of my greatness shall be lost in the annals of the internet, never to be discovered. Or perhaps one day I will become the greatest blogger of all time, with fellow, lesser bloggers on their virtual knees before me, waiting with bated cyber-breath for my next gripping instalment.
I’m getting a bit ahead of myself now.
This then, is just a very rough first draft. But this one shall be saved in the internet for all time and not just deleted entirely from my hard drive, like so many other rough drafts that no one ever gets to see.
Well thanks for reading, if you actually made it this far. I best be off now to sharpen the spikes of my iron maiden. Be sure to check back soon for more ramblings, or maybe even some thought-provoking pieces about how to achieve world peace, or something.
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