Book Review – Chainsaw by John Bender

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Chainsaw is short, fun blast of violence and gore that never takes itself too seriously. The action is fast-paced with no time for character self-reflection or world building, because that would just get in the way. It’s in your face and it’s nasty. And that there is two things I love, y’all!

Randy Lee and JT are a couple of lowlife redneck criminals. Well, criminal is a little generous to be honest. I think they’d like to be criminals, but they’re just a bit too stupid and hick-y to make it a successful career.

When Randy Lee steals a chainsaw from the local pyschopath Farmer Benton, he informs his plucky sidekick, JT, that they are going to rob the local bank with it. With their takings they plan to buy a car. It’s a great and flawless plan, if you’re a dumb redneck. But as an audience, we aren’t quite so dumb, so watching their ‘plan’ unfold is quite simply hilarious.

You shouldn’t be cheering these guys on, but their utter stupidity makes you really root for them. They live in a tiny town(?) with only one street and just a couple of hundred residents who probably all know each other, and they expect to get away with armed robbery. How would they ever even dream of managing that? Well, they give it a bloody good go.

Farmer Benton, using his fine-tuned detective skills, manages to work out our two heroes are the ones responsible for his chainsaw-napping. He wastes no time in calling upon his workforce of illegal immigrants to teach Randy Lee and JT a lesson. And it’s going to be a bloody one.

Carnage ensues, obviously. While robbing said bank, Randy Lee and JT don’t even bother to use false names when addressing each other (classic) and some of their almost retarded conversations are comedy gold. It’s not a spoiler to say they succeed in the robbery (kind of), but that’s only the start of the blood flow. When the hillbillies meet for an epic showdown with psycho Benton, there’s only going to be one outcome. And that’s death.

For a bumbled heist story with lashings of violence, gore, and explosions, you can’t go far wrong with this one. It’s laugh-a-minute-tastic. The pacing is great which never makes the story stagnate. I blitzed this book in only a couple of sittings, and chuckled for a fair amount of that time.

Think Tucker and Dale vs Evil, but from the mindset of the college kids, and you’ll get the idea of this book. Just buy it!

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